Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
