Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
