You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he puts the penis in happiness.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
