New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
