The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
