My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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