Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
love makes seman taste better
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
