You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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