I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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