You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
