Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
