Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I need moral support for this bender
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
