He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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