party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize