he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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