He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
