yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Welp...herpes.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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