ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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