My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
