Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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