I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
