I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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