I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
