he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
