she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
