So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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