so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You have to summon your inner elephant
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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