I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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