I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
