If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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