Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
