He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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