i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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