well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize