there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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