so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
