i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
