Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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