So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
