Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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