drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im on a boat
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