Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
