I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
