well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
