She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
