U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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