I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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