I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
