Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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