how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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