i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Will exercising make me less horny?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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