no, he came in my armpit
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
