I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
