I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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