Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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