Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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