took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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